hello. i miss ya.
i think its a very difficult time now. i dunno...
i think i will exclaim many "i dunno"s along the way bc really, i dunno..
dunno abt so many things.
dunno myself.
dunno what this world is like.
dunno what i should do.
and i miss you guys so much.
its like how with time, i'd realise how much ur friendships mean to me. and of all the pple who care, u all care most.
and its when i've been hurt and i feel so battered and worn out, that i will come to treasure this gangship even more.
i am so tired. like.. so emotionally drained.
and times like that i wonder how strong i truly am. and am i as good as i thot i have come to be.
and its like frustrating.. bc you thot things will be ok when u talk it out. but its worse when pple dun get what you try to say, or misintepret, or try consoling you but make things worse.
seriously.. does talking help?
no.
and with that realisation, i have become reticent.
this reluctance to even speak bc i know it wun help. it wun get any point across. wun convey how i really feel. and pple will never be frank.
and i look ard me, and see how pple i regard as friends have become mere strangers.. and witness how interactions between friends become so fake..
i get disillusioned.
it hurts, it really does.
why kant things be simpler? or why kant we be simpler.
perhaps we can. but simplicity comes at the cost of having to compromise our emotions and expectations i suppose.